please come you make the beer taste better
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
