Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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