You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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