She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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