I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
