They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
