Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
