if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
