Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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