O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it's like heaven, but drunker
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
