Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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