Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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