I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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