Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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