What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
