Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
