How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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