okay pat passed out under dana's car
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize