STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
