? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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