My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
