the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
