I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Terrible idea I love it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
