those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had to cum in my sink.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
