You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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