Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
