Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
