Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
