I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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