I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize