I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
