go do what you do best...puke behind churches
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize