I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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