She went from zero to smokin in five shots
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
