I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
