Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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