I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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