You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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