State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
