Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
