I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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