Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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