I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
