Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
