Is it normal to miss your booty call?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
