Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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