fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
