Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
