I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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