I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
