I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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