I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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