I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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