and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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