Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
