So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
